Biffo at the bar

Refreshments get out of hand at Roddy Meagher's wake ... Assaults in the bar common room ... Jackson Pollock artworks on display as guests fall about ... Grief fuelled by liquor 

Word is sketchy at this point and we'll try and fill in the details as they come to hand ... but we hear that there was blood on the parquet of the bar common room in Phillip Street last Friday (July 8). 

The room was choked with mourners attending Roddy Meagher's wake. The bar had made the common room available for this "private function". 

A number of people were so grief stricken by the loss of this lion of the law that they got completely shickered. 

One woman was seen slumped, comatose, in a chair near a doorway to the common room, vomit on her ample embonpoint and all over the floor. 

A guest tried to throttle someone, grabbing them around the throat. A scuffle ensured and a few agricultural swipes were thrown. 

A couple of porky security muffins were called. They reached for their walkie-talkies and called for "back-up". 

Roddy would have loved it. He was not opposed to vomit and violence, in the right context. 

All attending his funeral mass at St Mary's Cathedral were "warmly invited to join the family for refreshments at the bar association common room". 

The bar association told your reporter: 

"We understand that there was a minor altercation at the function which was quickly resolved." 

In future funeral planners should not suggest using the common room for wakes. The facility is underground and stifling and has had a long history of fuelling unhinged behaviour.