Letter from London

T.S Eliot gets it wrong ... Harry cleans up in a fresh round with Murdoch's hacking hacks ... All aboard Rebekah Brooks' "clean ship" ... Windy woman restrained from further flatulent abuse ... Trump claims "sovereign immunity" to skip paying legal costs of £300,000 ... Floyd Alexander-Hunt reports from Blighty 

I don't know how T.S. Eliot lived in the UK and declared April the cruellest month. January is by far the cruellest month – and not just because of the glaring list of unrealistic new year's resolutions plastered on the fridge. 

This year January lasted for 300 days, consisted of no more than five hours of daylight and Donald Trump became president - again. 

Hats off to Melania Trump, literally, for wearing a big enough chapeau to avoid getting a snacker from her inaugurating husband. 

And now to dive into the circus that is the UK legal scene ... 

Harry gets his day in court … again

The Duke of Sussex and his legal team declared a 'monumental victory' against Rupert Murdoch's News Group Newspapers, after receiving a hefty settlement from The Sun tabloid for invasion of privacy and surveillance. 

It's somewhat ironic that Harry is now the poster boy for privacy law given he and Meghan famously won't stop making content about their private lives for Netflix. 

The rumoured eight-figure settlement was accompanied by an historic grovel, acknowledging that The Sun had engaged in illegal practices against Prince Harry and his co-claimant, former Labour deputy leader, Lord Watson. 

David Sherborne, for Harry, reminded the court that at her criminal trial in 2014, Rebekah Brooks said, "When  I was editor of The Sun we ran a clean ship". 

Now, News Corp admits that when she was editor, The Sun was a criminal enterprise. 

Brooks: clean ship

Prince Harry explained that "this is about witnesses speaking their truth". While he joins the scores of self-help gurus and Instagram tiles encouraging people to speak their truth, he also spoke to his motivations: 

"One of the main reasons for seeing this through is accountability, because I'm the last person that can actually achieve that."  

Of course, Harry won't be the last person to hold the media to account, but anyone with the delusional suggestion to host a podcast with dictators asking them about their mummy and daddy issues, must have a decent amount of self-belief, and it seems like this time he did the job! Well done old boy. 

Does this mark the end of Harry's legal battles? Unlikely, given he and Meghan still need more content for their Netflix deals.

Flatulent fail 

In perhaps the lowest of low brow legal news, a 25 year-old woman in Wales has been sentenced to a community order for sending videos of herself breaking wind to her boyfriend's ex-partner. 

I thought I was petty for making my husband unfollow his ex on LinkedIn, but this takes things to a whole new level. 

Rhiannon Evans, a shop-worker from Caernarfon pleaded guilty to the conduct after prosecutors argued that her conduct of videoing herself "passing the gas" while smiling at the camera, amounted to harassment. 

Evans, restrained from further cyberfarts

Evans claiming that the victim was treating her partner poorly in regard to child contact. She was given a 12-month community order, a restraining order from the victim and was made to pay £300 in fines.

Trump's sovereign plea 

President Donald Trump has refused to pay a £290,000 legal bill after his lawsuit against Orbis, a private investigation firm in England, was dismissed. 

Trump brought the claim against Orbis after its research appeared in a 2017 Buzzfeed article alleging links between Trump's 2016 election campaign and Russia, as well as descriptions of lewd acts undertaken in a Russian hotel room. 

Which begs the question – who knew Trump read Buzzfeed? I wonder if he's done the Sorting Quiz to find out which Hogwarts house he belongs in. 

Orbis was founded by former MI-6 agent, Christopher Steele. This is not surprising, as I imagine all investigation firms are staffed by former spies or the popular girls from high school who are experts at finding out where their crush lives. 

Steele, ex-MI-6. The Trump Dossier

Trump's suit, brought under the guise of data protection, was thrown out in February 2024 by the High Court on the grounds that there were "no reasonable grounds for bringing a claim for compensation or damages". With the dismissal, Trump was ordered to pay £290,000 in legal fees. 

Orbis' lawyers have now relayed that Trump is claiming "sovereign immunity" as an excuse not to pay. 

Costs Judge Jason Rowley ruled that Trump is almost definitely in Slytherin (of course he relied on the Buzzfeed quiz) and ordered that Trump pay his bill within 28 days or risk losing the right to make representations at future hearings where a full amount will be decided.