Aye - Proccy does the Isles

Procrustes in sleeting Scotland ... Picking up the vibe of Tony Abbott's contribution to the Scottish independence debate ... In England, our very own Geoffrey Roberson weighs into the police raid on Cliff Richard's Berkshire digs 

Procrustes' accommodation near Oban

THIS comes to you from Oban on the west coast of Scotland, whither your correspondent headed by train to see the Scottish summer and sample the mood for Scottish independence.

Oban is a joy, if for no other reason than that, as one steps off the train through the freezing horizontal sleet, one sees, only a caber toss away, the Olive Garden proclaiming Mediterranean food.

Pizza is Mediterranean food, and it wasn't sleeting inside, but a brisk Scottish atmosphere was kept up by the various Polish, Czech and Lithuanian lassies who kept the food coming. 

The bearer of the (Mediterranean?) cod and chips lit the table candle, saying, "You'll need that to warm yourself," thereby unconsciously channelling the greatest of Goon Show Scottish lines: Come in Neddy and warm yourself by this roaring candle.

The arctic conditions enforced time with the Scottish Mail. Two pages devoted to Australian PM's Fear over Yes Vote. The vote for Scottish independence is now a mere four weeks away, and our very own Tony told the (still united) British that it was "hard to see how the world would be helped by an independent Scotland".

The leader of the Scottish National Party, Alex Salmond, went straight onto the front foot, denouncing Abbott's remarks as "foolish, hypocritical and offensive", and followed with a howling non sequitur that, "independence does not seem to have done Australia any harm". 

Salmond: advised the Scots that Abbott is "notoriously gaffe prone"

Warming to his task, Salmond slagged Abbott as "notoriously gaffe prone". 

The Mail was too discreet to publish what was shown in a television interview with the SNP leader: "He [Abbott] has insulted indigenous Australians and Australian women, and now he's insulting the Scots."

In a rewrite of Australian history, the pro-Union leader Alistair Darling said, presumably justifying Australian intrusion into Scottish affairs, that "many Scots had emigrated there for the last 300 years ..." First Mabo, now the hitherto unknown Scottish incursion of 1714. 

The most succinct comment on Scottish independence came from Russia's Vlad Putin, who spoke of the benefits of a "single, strong state", which should give the Scots pause for thought if independence comes off. Pockets of irredentist English start agitating for a breakaway southern Scotland; Whitehall assists them (defensively only) with heavy weaponry and backs the separatists on the world stage ...

Russian aid convey: on its way to somewhere

Talleyrand Tony's other international initiative, re Operation Bring Them Home ("We warn the Tsar"), has fallen on equally stony ground. Europe seems to have moved on from proving the cause of MH-17's crash or retrieving the body parts from the sweltering Ukrainian sun and the mid-level carnivores that inevitably inhabit its wheatfields.

Attention has been riveted on the Russian aid convoy that never quite arrives. Putin is so adept at a smoke screen.

On a more domestic note, five vehicle loads of British police descended on Sir Cliff Richard's house pursuant to a warrant issued while Cliff was in Portugal.

The raid was filmed from a BBC controlled helicopter clattering above. The days since have passed in acrimonious exchange between the police and the Beeb, as to whether the former tipped off the latter, or whether the Beeb said that it would publish the story of allegations of Richard's alleged molestation of a young male unless the police took the TV crew along for the ride.

As with a Russian smokescreen, all eyes were lifted from the real issue at hand, all save those of our very own Geoffrey Robertson QC, who lashed out in The Independent at the process, not just of inviting the media for a free and prejudicial kick, but of issuing a search warrant when the subject was well known, not evading process, easily contactable, and in respect of events more than a quarter of a century old.

The ghost of Entick v Carrington was summoned from the grave: English man's home is his castle, eh what?

Lord Robbo went on to predict, naming celebrities as illustration, that not content with using lay magistrates to smear individuals with unnecessary warrants (lay magistrates? - the Brits still have a long way to go to enter the modern era), that the prosecution service will take 18 to 24 months to determine whether to prosecute or not. 

The objects of this "service" are left in limbo during this period, while smeared. Surely we don't do anything like this in Oz. Drop the editor a line with your experiences.