Corporal punishment

Rough end of the pineapple ... Queensland government binging on bikie laws ... Chief Madge herding his flock on bikie bail ... Boy attorney general's VLAD legislation … Peanut gallery for Tasmanian DPP's negligent driving hearings 

Corporal Newman: all singing the same tune

IT'S comforting to know that the new chief beak of Queensland, Tim Carmody, has smartly fallen into step with Corporal Campbell Newman and the boy wonder attorney general Jarrod Bjelke-Bleijie. 

Jarrod was chuffed by Carmody's missive to all the state's Madges, urging them not to grant bail to bikies. 

The Bowen Hills Bugle said the "directive" was strongly supported by Baby Bjelke and "is seen as a vote of confidence in the actions of the Newman government and the Queensland police in trying to shut down outlaw bikie gangs". 

Carmody described his email as a helpful aid to the 88 busy Madges across the pineapple belt and he was not interfering with their independence. Good heavens, no. 

However, his message was clear - it's best to lock them up because: there was a big risk in granting bail to bikies; bail conditions may not effectively prevent harm; failure by members to obey bikie club rules may result in penalties "considerably worse than a breach of bail". 

Old timers are scratching their testicles, fondly remembering a time when judicial officers were not told by their superiors how to exercise their discretions - unless the exercise of discretion was overturned on appeal. 

With sterling work like this from Carmo, during his first few weeks in the saddle, he looks like a shoe-in to take Patsy Wolfe's job when she retires as chief judge of the Dizzo. 

Already we've seen Daphnis de Jersey CJ singing in tune with Corporal Newman's government - making speeches suggesting that jurors should be told about an accused's priors and extolling the modernising virtue of "evidence of silence". 

Speechifying about making life tougher for the accused is seen by cagey observers of Brisneyland politics as a job application. 

Let's be done with it and send the man to the ice-cream pile at Ithaca. 

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Special jail under VLAD's law

All of which sets the scene for the next flourish - the introduction by the Corporal's government of the Vicious Lawless Associates Disestablishment Bill. 

This marvellous piece of legislation, inspired by one of Oliver Goldsmith's restoration comedies, seeks to create a special bikies-only prison, banning gang members, crushing of motorcycles in special crushing yards, and mandatory 15-year sentences. 

Brisbane barrister Peter Callaghan SC, from the Law & Justice Institute, issued a press release bemoaning the fact that the Corporal and the Boy Wonder have not actually disclosed the contents of the proposed law. 

He goes on to complain there's been no consultation, and no input from people who might know how to make the thing work. 

What do you expect from a silk like Callaghan who refused to upgrade to be one of Bjelke-Bleijie's new "Queens Counsel"?   

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DPP pleads not guilty

Awful business in Van Diemen's Land as DPP Tim Ellis appeared in court on a charge of causing death by negligent driving. 

The accident occurred when his blue Merc went onto the wrong side of the Midland Highway and collided with a Toyota Hatchback, killing Natalia Pearn, 27. 

Ellis appeared in court on October 1 to plead not guilty to the charge. 

Other prominent members of the public were also in attendance in the courtroom: former Tasmanian magistrate and attorney general Sir Eardley Max Bingham QC and former Police Commissioner Jack Johnston. 

They were there to cause Ellis the maximum discomfort possible. 

For those outside the embracing fold of Taswegia, there is plenty of history behind all this. 

Ellis unsuccessfully prosecuted Johnston in 2008 on two counts of disclosing official secrets. 

The allegation was that he leaked to the then Premier, Paul (The Burst Sav) Lennon, and police minister Jim Cox, details of an investigation that Stephen Estcourt QC (as was) had been promised the job of solicitor general in return for acting pro-bono for the former deputy premier Bryan Green. 

Nothing came of the prosecution or the allegation about touting the solicitor general's job. 

However, Ellis unsuccessfully sought special leave of the High Court after the Supreme Court tossed out the Johnston case. 

The added frisson was that when he was charged, Johnston was fingerprinted, swabbed for DNA, stripped searched and banged-up in a cell. 

Five years later he's still smarting about the indignity. He said outside the court when Timsy Ellis appeared:  

"I came here just to see the process. It's just unfortunate that there were some of us subjected to the indignity of a strip search, and others who weren't." 

Bingham has been an outspoken supporter of Johnston. 

Their attendance at Ellis' plea hearing gave a message that they were relishing his discomfort. 

It's expected they will be attending every time the matter is mentioned and every day of the proceedings. 

One of our readers was disapproving, saying that this stunt showed disrespect to the family of the young woman who had been killed. As a consequence, he described them as: 

"Silly, selfish, shits." 

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My field agents report that two federal judges have been sent on gardening leave. 

They were allegedly spied holding Ugandan Discussions in a vehicle in one of the court's carparks.